I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
