Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
