we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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