yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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