Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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