i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
