I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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