On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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