it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A bitchslap is in order.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
