moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
