just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
