He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
