So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
