Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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