he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
