After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
