No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
