chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
