shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
