I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm always down for nudity.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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