mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize