I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize