I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish they made helmets for livers.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
