Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
