My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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