Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize