It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize