he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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