I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
