Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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