Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
