eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
