Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
