I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
