Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
