this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
