Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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