She's JV to your varsity
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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