he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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