I bet he comes in French.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
