just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
