I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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