That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
