they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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