oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
They have beer where we have blood.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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