if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
