She's JV to your varsity
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I need a burrito and a hug.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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