She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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