They should really pass out barf bags in church
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
