That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize