thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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