he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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