The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The adults are the big ones right?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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