she was so not down for the gang bang
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
