Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
