I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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