she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
