Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize