Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
