Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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