Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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