I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
