If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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