I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
