i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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